Who or what is your god? This is a question that has plagued humans from earliest recorded history. God-ness seems to be an experience as well as a concept. Some of us experience god as having a human face, some as a kind of wind, some as the lifting of a veil, some as a sudden awareness of the immediate moment, and some find god in multiple situations.
What is the experience behind the concept or name that we give divine moments? Skeptics like Karl Marx believe that we would invent god if we didn't already believe; he believes the human race needs the idea of a god almost as we need medication for pain. The Buddhists have an interesting take. They start with the idea that life is intrinsically suffering. We only see beyond our suffering through enlightenment, a kind of waking up. Christians see god in the face of Christ.
I wonder what draws ninety readers to a blog that names god a "Big Dude"? Share, if you would, in the comments field why you're here and what your concept of god or spirituality looks like. I'd be so interested.
In my own case, I have struggled since I was young with the god question. I couldn't believe in a god who invented hell so I parted with my parents' Catholic faith at about age 20. Since then, I've reinvented my concept of god hundreds of times.
This week, I was meditating and after several minutes of silent breathing, I raised my eyes and saw the trees and woods behind my house. Just like that I knew the face of my higher power or spiritual being: nature. Even as a pre-schooler, I spent hours and even entire days in the woods behind my house. I would look up at the trees making a "green cathedral" above me and I felt comfort and inspiration. I stumble over "god" at the ocean, in the mountains, in the feeling of wind on my face, in the night sky, and in the tops of trees. I can't comprehend the force or being behind the various forms that come to humans. It's my belief that the Big Dude comes to each of us in the form that we can most receive whether that is an organized religion, a newborn, a sudden hush, or the wind in the trees.
I am so grateful for the voice of the great spirit that comes to me as a wash of peace usually when I am close to nature. How does "god" come to you? Roxie
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Child of the Universe
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. This quote by Max Ehrmann often used by Gestalt psychologist, Fritz Perls in the early 70s can help us feel worthy. For those of us who were not accepted or even wanted as chilren, this affirmation can be an antidote.
If our childhood foundations were solid, the chances are we have a loving parental voice inside of us. That loving voice sometimes becomes the basis for our image of God as an adult. When we don't have that loving parent and, indeed, have a very hostile or rejecting parental voice inside us, then we need some kind of magic to undo that negative spell. Hence, we need an antidote, an elixir like the statement above.
When self-criticism is running rampant inside of me, I've taken to saying: "I am a chld of the universe." Who can debate that? Not even my mother or brothers. On the quest for self-love, I recommend frequent doses of this powerful, gentle statement. I AM a child of the universe. Roxie
If our childhood foundations were solid, the chances are we have a loving parental voice inside of us. That loving voice sometimes becomes the basis for our image of God as an adult. When we don't have that loving parent and, indeed, have a very hostile or rejecting parental voice inside us, then we need some kind of magic to undo that negative spell. Hence, we need an antidote, an elixir like the statement above.
When self-criticism is running rampant inside of me, I've taken to saying: "I am a chld of the universe." Who can debate that? Not even my mother or brothers. On the quest for self-love, I recommend frequent doses of this powerful, gentle statement. I AM a child of the universe. Roxie
Sunday, July 8, 2012
As Myself
Why is it so hard to love ourselves? The great spiritual traditions all insist that we love and accept ourselves almost as a prerequisite to "entering the kingdom" or achieving enlightenment. Psychologists concur that self-love is pretty much the root of all goodness. Twelve-step literature believes that self-love is the primary task of recovery.
So, if we "know" that self-love is the answer, why is it so impossible to achieve? I heard someone say the other night: "It takes 100 positive encounters or thoughts to unseat a single negative one." Certainly, that appears to be true. If someone slights us or appears to slight us, we ruminate on that slight for a long time and increase its power over us. Seriously, how many of us go straight to a mirror and say to our own image, "You're good enough! You're beautiful and smart."
A question that I'm trying to ask myself when I feel slighted or discouraged is: What would I say or do for a child that I know if he/she was feeling this way? I had an experience this week where a three-year-old came up to me and seemed a little downcast. I asked what was wrong and he said something happened at preschool. I pursued it and he told me a girl had told him to "Go away." I told him that wasn't very nice. He went on to say that she said it in a mean tone. I asked him how that made him feel. In the end, the girl apologized to him. He understood that she apologized and yet the sting of that "mean" tone and the words "go away" were with him. I hugged him and told him I'd never tell him to go away.
How interesting that he took the negative from the exchange and fretted over it! How true for grown-ups as well! If I have an intense exchange with someone, I hear the point in the exchange where that person called me a name and I don't think about all the problems we solved in the conversation. I don't think about the time we both took to spend with each other and talk this through. I think about the one moment where the person slipped and acted like a three-year old calling names.
Self-love, if I follow the example of the little boy, would tell a friend the feelings and seek comfort. It's that simple and that difficult. If it takes a hundred postives to undo at one hurt, then the first step is to share the burden with someone else. I can talk to myself positively as well, but I once was a little girl who was hurt and had no one to share the hurt with. Today, I need to practice sharing that hurt with a friend and with the Big Dude.
It's been four days since I was hurt and I haven't shared it with one person. I have a lot to learn. If I'm going to love my neighbor "as myself," I'd better get cracking. Roxie
So, if we "know" that self-love is the answer, why is it so impossible to achieve? I heard someone say the other night: "It takes 100 positive encounters or thoughts to unseat a single negative one." Certainly, that appears to be true. If someone slights us or appears to slight us, we ruminate on that slight for a long time and increase its power over us. Seriously, how many of us go straight to a mirror and say to our own image, "You're good enough! You're beautiful and smart."
A question that I'm trying to ask myself when I feel slighted or discouraged is: What would I say or do for a child that I know if he/she was feeling this way? I had an experience this week where a three-year-old came up to me and seemed a little downcast. I asked what was wrong and he said something happened at preschool. I pursued it and he told me a girl had told him to "Go away." I told him that wasn't very nice. He went on to say that she said it in a mean tone. I asked him how that made him feel. In the end, the girl apologized to him. He understood that she apologized and yet the sting of that "mean" tone and the words "go away" were with him. I hugged him and told him I'd never tell him to go away.
How interesting that he took the negative from the exchange and fretted over it! How true for grown-ups as well! If I have an intense exchange with someone, I hear the point in the exchange where that person called me a name and I don't think about all the problems we solved in the conversation. I don't think about the time we both took to spend with each other and talk this through. I think about the one moment where the person slipped and acted like a three-year old calling names.
Self-love, if I follow the example of the little boy, would tell a friend the feelings and seek comfort. It's that simple and that difficult. If it takes a hundred postives to undo at one hurt, then the first step is to share the burden with someone else. I can talk to myself positively as well, but I once was a little girl who was hurt and had no one to share the hurt with. Today, I need to practice sharing that hurt with a friend and with the Big Dude.
It's been four days since I was hurt and I haven't shared it with one person. I have a lot to learn. If I'm going to love my neighbor "as myself," I'd better get cracking. Roxie
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Sprituality and Jerry Sandusky
All the great ones forgive. They forgive everyone. How can that be? Who can forgive Jerry Sandusky? or Hitler? Who can forgive everyone?
Perhaps it's not about forgiveness. If we think of forgiveness as an action that we have to take, almost against our own judgement and will, then it's tough. Maybe the spiritual equivalent of forgivess is actually moving ourselves to a higher plane where the actions and choices of others are just that: actions and choices. Maybe we get to a place where they're not BAD actions or BAD choices, just the choices of a fellow human.
I'm not there yet but I did find myself oddly conflicted about Jerry Sandusky. I was outraged during his trial feeling that he was a monster and needed to be locked up forever. On the one hand, I still think that. On the other hand, I hear the voice of Jesus saying, "Visit the imprisoned."
Now that he is safely locked away and I know no more children will be hurt by him, I feel compassion. He is, after all, just a lost dog in a way. A happy-go-lucky pit bull who thirsted for children. As a culture, we didn't restrain him. I didn't know him to be able to intervene personally.
Whom DO I know? Who lives in my world unrestrained and doing damage while I turn a blind eye? Me! What parts of me fly out and hurt others while I deny them and the damage they do? When I respond impulsively to another person or situation, without reflection, I risk doing damage. Freud said we, humans, have an Id capable of great creativity and great destruction. Our task is to use spiritual pratice to guide this impulsive force towards the greater good.
When asked if he was sexually attracted to young boys, Sandusky said, "I enjoy their company. I like to be with them." This positive impulse created a camp for children. Unrestrained, buoyed up by status and power and admiration from the community, this boyish enthusiasm turned into destruction and perversion.
The ancients knew too much enthusiasm and too much power would destroy us. Icarus with youthful imagination and drive flew too close to the sun and fell to his death. Shakespeare alludes to the wheel of fortune whereby those who rise to the top of the wheel surely shall also sink to the bottom.
In 12-Step terminology, addiction to any substance or action that keeps us from facing our true and spiritual nature will eventually bring about our destruction. So, turn off electronic devices, stop drinking or using, stop gambling or indulging your sexual impulses. Invoke a higher power and a higher vision. Forgiveness becomes moot.
Jerry Sandusky and all of us are on a spiritual journey. Maybe he has to be locked up all his life so that he can take the next step. (Let us hope that some higher being is protecting and guiding the children he harmed.) Maybe I have to be chained to an aging body that doesn't work so well so that I can take that step. Maybe we have to lose jobs, have heart attacks, get cancer, lose children, and face death before we see our own deadly sins and let them go.
It's easy to be spiritual on the ocean or in the mountains. We feel a larger presence. We also need to see the spirituality in the fall, when the wheel of fortune throws us down. Roxie
Perhaps it's not about forgiveness. If we think of forgiveness as an action that we have to take, almost against our own judgement and will, then it's tough. Maybe the spiritual equivalent of forgivess is actually moving ourselves to a higher plane where the actions and choices of others are just that: actions and choices. Maybe we get to a place where they're not BAD actions or BAD choices, just the choices of a fellow human.
I'm not there yet but I did find myself oddly conflicted about Jerry Sandusky. I was outraged during his trial feeling that he was a monster and needed to be locked up forever. On the one hand, I still think that. On the other hand, I hear the voice of Jesus saying, "Visit the imprisoned."
Now that he is safely locked away and I know no more children will be hurt by him, I feel compassion. He is, after all, just a lost dog in a way. A happy-go-lucky pit bull who thirsted for children. As a culture, we didn't restrain him. I didn't know him to be able to intervene personally.
Whom DO I know? Who lives in my world unrestrained and doing damage while I turn a blind eye? Me! What parts of me fly out and hurt others while I deny them and the damage they do? When I respond impulsively to another person or situation, without reflection, I risk doing damage. Freud said we, humans, have an Id capable of great creativity and great destruction. Our task is to use spiritual pratice to guide this impulsive force towards the greater good.
When asked if he was sexually attracted to young boys, Sandusky said, "I enjoy their company. I like to be with them." This positive impulse created a camp for children. Unrestrained, buoyed up by status and power and admiration from the community, this boyish enthusiasm turned into destruction and perversion.
The ancients knew too much enthusiasm and too much power would destroy us. Icarus with youthful imagination and drive flew too close to the sun and fell to his death. Shakespeare alludes to the wheel of fortune whereby those who rise to the top of the wheel surely shall also sink to the bottom.
In 12-Step terminology, addiction to any substance or action that keeps us from facing our true and spiritual nature will eventually bring about our destruction. So, turn off electronic devices, stop drinking or using, stop gambling or indulging your sexual impulses. Invoke a higher power and a higher vision. Forgiveness becomes moot.
Jerry Sandusky and all of us are on a spiritual journey. Maybe he has to be locked up all his life so that he can take the next step. (Let us hope that some higher being is protecting and guiding the children he harmed.) Maybe I have to be chained to an aging body that doesn't work so well so that I can take that step. Maybe we have to lose jobs, have heart attacks, get cancer, lose children, and face death before we see our own deadly sins and let them go.
It's easy to be spiritual on the ocean or in the mountains. We feel a larger presence. We also need to see the spirituality in the fall, when the wheel of fortune throws us down. Roxie
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Mea Culpa and My Higher Power!
It's been awhile since I've posted. The Big Dude seems to have his back to me, arms folded, attention going elsewhere. Or, maybe that's me standing with my back turned, arms folded, and looking elsewhere.
Spirituality has been coming to me from 12-step rooms. My higher power has been knocking on the door and I confess I'm leaning against the door some of the time trying not to let it in. Why is that?
A higher power is probably the most appealing of all spiritual concepts. First of all, it's more like a guardian angel than a god. Each of us, they say, has a higher power of our own. I think of it as me rising to my highest self, joining with a power or energy greater than myself. This higher force is in touch with a vision and design beyond what I can see. That's such a reasonable, mystical essence. It's the best of both worlds. A human mind devoting itself to the best development of humans hand-in-hand with a guiding light that is leading the human to its greatest potential.
How bad can that be? Well, it is kind of scary. Part of the deal is that you surrender your will. Yes, it's reassuring to be joined with a higher good. And it's terrifying. In this form of spirituality, the emphasis isn't on free will or choosing the good. The emphasis is on surrender, giving your will, your WILL over to an unknown force.
Most of us have fought hard to grow up and survive. It took a lot of character and will to get where we are. Granted, where we are is not always that great, but still giving up what little control I have over my own destiny scares me. How about you? Can we all surrender our wills to a higher being despite our doubts that such a being exists or has our best interests at heart?
Can we accept that our personal best interest, what we would choose for ourself, might not be in the greater vision? That's hard and yet I think it IS the path embedded in almost every spiritual tradition. So, I've been busy working my way through the 12 Steps and finding comfort in the infamous fellowship rooms.
Those rooms are incredibly spiritual. There's something about 30 people sitting together speaking their truths and their struggles. Listening to each other. Saying the Serenity Prayer together. Agreeing not to interrupt each other or to judge each other. Agreeing not to share anything about the people who are there. Agreeing that the most recent newcomer is as important as the most seasoned veteran (the last shall be first?) or even more important. There emerges a quiet and a serenity that surprises me. Roxie
Spirituality has been coming to me from 12-step rooms. My higher power has been knocking on the door and I confess I'm leaning against the door some of the time trying not to let it in. Why is that?
A higher power is probably the most appealing of all spiritual concepts. First of all, it's more like a guardian angel than a god. Each of us, they say, has a higher power of our own. I think of it as me rising to my highest self, joining with a power or energy greater than myself. This higher force is in touch with a vision and design beyond what I can see. That's such a reasonable, mystical essence. It's the best of both worlds. A human mind devoting itself to the best development of humans hand-in-hand with a guiding light that is leading the human to its greatest potential.
How bad can that be? Well, it is kind of scary. Part of the deal is that you surrender your will. Yes, it's reassuring to be joined with a higher good. And it's terrifying. In this form of spirituality, the emphasis isn't on free will or choosing the good. The emphasis is on surrender, giving your will, your WILL over to an unknown force.
Most of us have fought hard to grow up and survive. It took a lot of character and will to get where we are. Granted, where we are is not always that great, but still giving up what little control I have over my own destiny scares me. How about you? Can we all surrender our wills to a higher being despite our doubts that such a being exists or has our best interests at heart?
Can we accept that our personal best interest, what we would choose for ourself, might not be in the greater vision? That's hard and yet I think it IS the path embedded in almost every spiritual tradition. So, I've been busy working my way through the 12 Steps and finding comfort in the infamous fellowship rooms.
Those rooms are incredibly spiritual. There's something about 30 people sitting together speaking their truths and their struggles. Listening to each other. Saying the Serenity Prayer together. Agreeing not to interrupt each other or to judge each other. Agreeing not to share anything about the people who are there. Agreeing that the most recent newcomer is as important as the most seasoned veteran (the last shall be first?) or even more important. There emerges a quiet and a serenity that surprises me. Roxie
Saturday, April 28, 2012
The Word Made Flesh
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Hope Springs Eternal
I've heard people say: Just when you think things can't get any worse, they DO. Sometimes. Sometimes, though, they get better! A check arrives that you weren't expecting, a stranger strikes up a conversation that changes the way you see things, your errant teen shows up with a dandelion the way he used to do when he was six.
Could it be that it's not entirely random? Could it be in the hope or lack thereof that the next event arises. If I'm thinking things can't get any worse, the subtext of that message is that they will get worse. If, instead, I say to myself: "Well, things are really crappy right now. I'd better ask the Big Dude or his equivalent to step in" The subtext of that message is that a miracle could happen.
So, why not go for the gusto and get up every morning saying: A miracle could happen today! Why don't we all try this as an experiment and let each other know what happens? Post your results as comments.
Here's Roxie's prediction: Miracles WILL happen. Miracles are always happening but you have to notice them, engage with them. If Jesus said to that guy who couldn't walk, "Hey, you, get up and walk." The guy could be thinking: "Well, that's not going to happen and so, he doesn't try." Or, maybe he's so engrossed in his own victim drama that he doesn't even hear the invitation. When you start the day believing a miracle COULD happen, you're looking for miracles. You're acknowledging that your life is bigger than your little story.
Me? I'm sitting here with a little vase waiting for that dandelion! Roxie
Could it be that it's not entirely random? Could it be in the hope or lack thereof that the next event arises. If I'm thinking things can't get any worse, the subtext of that message is that they will get worse. If, instead, I say to myself: "Well, things are really crappy right now. I'd better ask the Big Dude or his equivalent to step in" The subtext of that message is that a miracle could happen.
So, why not go for the gusto and get up every morning saying: A miracle could happen today! Why don't we all try this as an experiment and let each other know what happens? Post your results as comments.
Here's Roxie's prediction: Miracles WILL happen. Miracles are always happening but you have to notice them, engage with them. If Jesus said to that guy who couldn't walk, "Hey, you, get up and walk." The guy could be thinking: "Well, that's not going to happen and so, he doesn't try." Or, maybe he's so engrossed in his own victim drama that he doesn't even hear the invitation. When you start the day believing a miracle COULD happen, you're looking for miracles. You're acknowledging that your life is bigger than your little story.
Me? I'm sitting here with a little vase waiting for that dandelion! Roxie
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