Bad News: Chariot's Not Comin'

There are periods in life, sometimes called dark nights of the soul, when we simply can't connect, when we scoff at good news yet cry at the bad. I like to think of these times as being up shit creek, but to put it in nicer terms: the good news of the Gospel or the enlightenment of Buddha aren't present to us. The "chariot" of the gospel song is not in the neighborhood.

These gaps in our soul consciousness, these hours spent in shit creek, populate everyone's spiritual development. That doesn't mean we like them. Pema Chodron, a Buddhist writer of note, tells of flinging a rock at her husband when he told her he was leaving her for another woman. That's such a comforting story. She's highly evolved, fairly enlightened, AND she needs to fling a rock now and then.

I wonder why we have these dark periods. Why does the shit we're swimming in just not feel sacred at times? Perhaps I'm asking the wrong question. A psych teacher I once had said, "Never ask a client a 'why' question; it triggers the intelligence and not the gut." I guess that means you can't think your way through emotional shit or soul shit. So, what to do?

The old psych teacher would have said, "Ask a feeling question." Questions like: Where do you feel that in your body? What's the sensation that goes with this issue? Or, just plain, what does it feel like to be up shit creek today? So, I'm noticing that I have lower back pain where I haven't had any pain in several months. Oddly, I'm also having pain in my left ankle.

I know that lower back pain symbolizes lack of emotional support. Aha! That feels true. It's been a rough 48 hours and I haven't been able to speak with any friends about it. Someone suggested that at such times, we need to have our coping and survival skills validated. We need to shout at the world: Do you GET how brilliantly I am coping with all of everything?

This is not my most profound spiritual posting. It needs to be said though. Sometimes, we're in a heap of trouble or pain, and faith or inspiration elude us. I checked in with the Big Dude and he said, "Roxie, the bad news is--that chariot's not coming today. The good news is--that chariot will come eventually."

Ha! Not a very comforting thought, Big Dude. I'm going out to fling some rocks. Roxie