I've always had a mad jealous streak quite at odds with my theories of spirituality. I felt like I had been dealt a raw hand by the Big Dude or whatever. This feeling that I had been cheated allowed me to covet what others had and also to cut corners myself. I figured since no one seemed to have my back, as the saying goes, I had to do whatever it took for me to survive.
Fast forward many years. Last week, I faced my jealousy head on. I was visiting my best friend for several days. She has a perfect home, the perfect modern family, a successful marriage, and abundance in every aspect of her life. Grandchildren! Grown children who are happy and successful and who come to her for cozy conversation. A job she loves. No major health issues even though we're about the same age. Need I go on?
So, there I was ensconced in that picture-perfect home for a few days. I felt loved, protected, and richly engaged by her spirituality and intelligence. It came time for me to leave and I was sitting in her picture-perfect family room surrounded by at least a hundred pictures ranging from grandchildren to grandparents. I felt like an outsider and a big, fat LOSER. As I sat there quietly, things began to rearrange themselves in my awareness. Suddenly I saw her as another soul in the universe. I remembered her origins. I saw her striving to go beyond her family. I saw the little girl who had to grow up fast and didn't get a chance to play.
I stopped comparing my life to her life and realized I was obsessed with the trappings of life. The bottom line is the same for both of us--to wake up to the God or whatever that is manifest in our very own selves. That's it. That's all. When I am jealous and lonely, I am like a drop of water in the ocean. I'm only thinking about that drop. Once I realize I am part of the ocean, I'm amazed. My friend is a drop of water and so am I. It takes many drops of water to build an ocean. All of us moving in divine harmony make up the tide and waves. Wow! Roxie
Fast forward many years. Last week, I faced my jealousy head on. I was visiting my best friend for several days. She has a perfect home, the perfect modern family, a successful marriage, and abundance in every aspect of her life. Grandchildren! Grown children who are happy and successful and who come to her for cozy conversation. A job she loves. No major health issues even though we're about the same age. Need I go on?
So, there I was ensconced in that picture-perfect home for a few days. I felt loved, protected, and richly engaged by her spirituality and intelligence. It came time for me to leave and I was sitting in her picture-perfect family room surrounded by at least a hundred pictures ranging from grandchildren to grandparents. I felt like an outsider and a big, fat LOSER. As I sat there quietly, things began to rearrange themselves in my awareness. Suddenly I saw her as another soul in the universe. I remembered her origins. I saw her striving to go beyond her family. I saw the little girl who had to grow up fast and didn't get a chance to play.
I stopped comparing my life to her life and realized I was obsessed with the trappings of life. The bottom line is the same for both of us--to wake up to the God or whatever that is manifest in our very own selves. That's it. That's all. When I am jealous and lonely, I am like a drop of water in the ocean. I'm only thinking about that drop. Once I realize I am part of the ocean, I'm amazed. My friend is a drop of water and so am I. It takes many drops of water to build an ocean. All of us moving in divine harmony make up the tide and waves. Wow! Roxie
Life is but 'birth, death and experiences' - none of them real. Birth takes us from being just a potential through many layers of atoms, molecules, organs and the functional body, each real only at its respective layer. Death then appears only degeneration of body down the same ladder. Experiences are essentially unreal as they are only as true as the thought-waves; they come and they go. An experience is a specific manifestation from amongst many probabilities and possibilities that could not manifest. This choice is entirely our own and one leads to another. If our life is twists and turns, this movie once made has several movies denied experience.
ReplyDelete"Changing" would have no meaning and it wouldn't even be a word if there wouldn't be something "unchanging". As waves, life's experiences, we are distinctly plural, but as the sea, life itself, we are uniquely one.