It's so hard to believe in the Big Dude or the Good God or even a Spirit of the Universe when it seems like they're such fuck-ups! Child molestation alone can put me off such beliefs forever. If you or I ran the universe, would we allow this? And then there's rape and murder, wife beating, drugs, terrorism, and all the rest. Finally, there's just your average lonely life, the "quiet desperation" that Thoreau speaks of. A nun I used to know once said, "It's not the big things; it's the terrible dailiness of every day." It's all those things that put me off God now and then.
And then, my great-nephew races to meet me in the mall and jumps into my arms. Ahhhh. Maybe there is a God. Or, I'm driving through the Berkshires on the Mass Pike and my heart stops at the beauty. Or a leaf is floating late from a tree, carried hither and yon on invisible currents of air. And there's always the night sky when you're desperate. One look at a clear sky opens those chakras right up.
Which brings me to a spiritual dilemma: Does God live in the whim of the moment? Or, is the Great Spirit truly beyond time and comprehension? If God lives in the moment, then I control him or her by my state of mind. Check that one off. That can't be true. So, that leaves (a) no God or (b) the timeless, incomprehensible one. I guess I like the latter option.
That means I do (alas) need to work at spiritual development. The great traditions seem to agree that it's about loving yourself and your neighbor, doing good works, and being present. The rest is some kind of grace or gift over which we have no control. I've been sloughing off on my spiritual practice again. Why is it so HARD to make myself do this? Why don't I joyfully sit in meditation every day for as long as possible? How can I NOT want as much contact as possible with the Great Spirit? I think I do want that.
The problem is I'm a lazy-ass human. I'd rather God came to me in a more whimsical way. I'd rather he fixed world hunger and child abuse directly. I don't want to have to do the hard work of opening to God and THEN do the hard work of making life a better place. No wonder the world is so fucked up. It's on us. It's only as good as we collectively make it. We're TOAST! Well, and jam, maybe. Roxie
And then, my great-nephew races to meet me in the mall and jumps into my arms. Ahhhh. Maybe there is a God. Or, I'm driving through the Berkshires on the Mass Pike and my heart stops at the beauty. Or a leaf is floating late from a tree, carried hither and yon on invisible currents of air. And there's always the night sky when you're desperate. One look at a clear sky opens those chakras right up.
Which brings me to a spiritual dilemma: Does God live in the whim of the moment? Or, is the Great Spirit truly beyond time and comprehension? If God lives in the moment, then I control him or her by my state of mind. Check that one off. That can't be true. So, that leaves (a) no God or (b) the timeless, incomprehensible one. I guess I like the latter option.
That means I do (alas) need to work at spiritual development. The great traditions seem to agree that it's about loving yourself and your neighbor, doing good works, and being present. The rest is some kind of grace or gift over which we have no control. I've been sloughing off on my spiritual practice again. Why is it so HARD to make myself do this? Why don't I joyfully sit in meditation every day for as long as possible? How can I NOT want as much contact as possible with the Great Spirit? I think I do want that.
The problem is I'm a lazy-ass human. I'd rather God came to me in a more whimsical way. I'd rather he fixed world hunger and child abuse directly. I don't want to have to do the hard work of opening to God and THEN do the hard work of making life a better place. No wonder the world is so fucked up. It's on us. It's only as good as we collectively make it. We're TOAST! Well, and jam, maybe. Roxie
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